Ridiculous
by OITNBReader
Summary: Maura's out of town. Jane misses her. Rizzles. One shot.


I had this idea of a scene, so I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy.

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Jane knew she was being ridiculous. Ridiculous and perhaps a little over dramatic, but she didn't care. The last couple of days had caused her to lose all patience and reasonable perspective. She had had enough. Nothing catastrophic had happened, but enough little things had occurred to frustrate Jane to no end. She was letting herself wallow.

She and Frost had hit a wall on the case they were working. No leads. No evidence. Nothing. The almost daily phone calls from the victim's family were making her feel even more miserable and useless.

Jo Friday had gotten sick. Jane had to take her to the vet and was now tasked with hiding little pills in peanut butter for the next two weeks. Jo would be fine, but it was an added stressor for Jane.

Her car battery had died yesterday. It was something she had such little patience for, she had left her car at the precinct ever since and had avoided dealing with it altogether.

Fed up with everything, she had taken her frustrations out on the punching bag at the BPD gym this morning. In a frenzy of activity, a misplaced punch had caused her to dislocate her left ring finger. She couldn't even understand how she managed to do that. Dr. Pike had reset it and taped it for her.

Ugh. Pike. Because Maura wasn't there. Maura was at a conference in Chicago. It was Maura's absence that troubled Jane the most. It had only been six weeks since she and Maura had become more than just friends, but it was an experience and development Jane couldn't get enough of. As soon as they crossed that line, Jane found herself craving Maura constantly. It surprised her. She had never experienced that in her previous relationships. She had never _needed_ anyone the way she needed Maura. She assumed it was because they were such good friends before they became lovers. They had always had a strong bond. She had never needed Casey the way she needed Maura. She had never needed Casey's comfort. She had never longed for the calming tones of Casey's voice at the end of the day. Little by little, Jane had come to rely on coming home to Maura each evening after a long day at work. (They didn't live together yet, but spending the night together wasn't anything new). Making dinner together, talking about their days, making love, falling asleep in each other's arms was a routine that had begun to center Jane in a way she didn't even have words for. She had never thought she would be someone who would want that, let alone someone who flourished in it. It had to be because of Maura. Jane knew it. Everything was different with Maura.

Jane felt ridiculous for missing her girlfriend this much. Surely she should be able to handle a few days without Maura by her side. She wasn't completely helpless. Maura had gone out of town to conferences before and Jane had been just fine. But enduring the last couple of days without Maura's support and presence had made Jane sad. Plain and simple. Sad and lost. And tired. She just wanted to crawl into bed and wrap her arms around Maura. At least she would only have to wait one more night. Maura would be home tomorrow afternoon.

Defeated, Jane rounded the corner towards her apartment with her head down. Unbeknownst to her, a familiar honey blonde doctor stood a few yards away watching her approach.

Jane looked up briefly as she got closer to her building and froze. Maura's beaming smile and twinkling eyes were staring back at her. It was enough to make Jane fall apart. Relief washed over her. She smirked and looked down again as she felt warm tears slide down her cheeks. She wondered how it was possible to cry so quickly. She walked the last twenty feet towards Maura a bit more quickly. She never looked up. She fell into Maura's arms and buried her face in Maura's neck. She let her emotions go and cried freely. Maura's smile swiftly faded.

"Jane…?"

Maura wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and held her tightly. Her fingers ran through Jane's hair soothingly. She turned her head slightly and placed a kiss at Jane's temple.

"Jane, what is it? Are you okay?"

Maura didn't know what to think. Her own eyes watered with tears as she held her girlfriend.

"Ssshhh….it's okay."

The women stayed wrapped in each other's arms in front of Jane's apartment for several minutes. Jane eventually moved so she could look at Maura properly. Maura wiped the tears from Jane's cheeks. The look on her girlfriend's face broke her heart.

"You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Jane shook her head and placed a soft kiss on Maura's lips.

"Come on, let's go upstairs."

Jane took Maura's hand and led her up the stairs and into her apartment. They sat on the couch; Maura's legs over Jane's, Jane's arms wrapped around Maura. Maura ran her finger tips over Jane's cheeks once more.

"Well this is a nice surprise. What're you doing here?" Jane smiled as she looked at Maura. It really was the best surprise.

"As it turns out, my attendance was not required at the lecture tomorrow. I took the earliest flight home I could. I missed you."

"I'm so happy to see you." Jane gave Maura a lingering kiss.

"So…?" Maura looked quizzically at her girlfriend and raised her eyebrows. "What's that colloquialism you enjoy so much? Oh, yes! Care to share with the class?"

Jane laughed at Maura's words.

"I'm okay. It's okay. There's not really anything to share. Just an annoying couple of days." Jane shrugged and looked down at her hands intertwined with Maura's. Maura waited, hoping Jane would voluntarily continue her explanation. "It's silly. You'll think I'm ridiculous._ I_ think I'm ridiculous." Jane let out a soft chuckle.

Maura knew Jane well enough to tell that nothing was really _wrong_, but she was curious as to what had gotten her girlfriend into such a state.

Maura smiled. "Tell me. Maybe we can be ridiculous together."

"It's nothing. It's just…The past couple days were weird. This case isn't going well. Jo got sick. My car died. My finger…"

Maura grabbed Jane's hand to inspect her bandaged finger. She placed a soft kiss to the injured digit.

"Pike? That man is unbelievably inept. I will properly wrap it for you. I'm sorry, please continue."

"All…all these things happened and…and you weren't here to talk to or…or help me and I just…I just missed you. Really missed you. You were only gone for a couple days. I shouldn't have missed you that much. And then when I saw you…It's silly. I'm being dramatic."

Jane gave Maura a half smile and tried to shrug it off. Maura watched her detective for a moment before she spoke.

"I don't think it's silly at all. It actually makes me rather happy. Not that you stumbled into a few days of bad luck, but I like knowing you missed me so much. I missed you very much as well. It was quite difficult not to text and call you constantly."

Jane's eyes lit up. "Really?!"

Maura nodded forcefully and gave Jane a kiss. They sat for a moment with goofy smiles.

"Jane…What were you going to say? About when you saw me?" Maura bit her lip and sneaked a glance at Jane. She knew these kinds of talks were not Jane's favorite.

Jane ran a hand through her hair. "Oh, I…I was going to say that…well, I don't know actually. It was just that when I saw you I kind of let go; finally exhaled for the first time since you've been gone. I don't know. My heart sped up and it hit me again how much I missed you and…and everything you do for me. I'm sorry…I'm not explaining this very well. You know I'm not good at this." Jane rubbed her hands over her face in frustration.

"You're getting better at it though."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm."

It was true. Since they started dating, Jane had made an obvious effort to be more open with Maura. It was definitely a process, but Jane was determined.

"I think I know what you mean. When I saw you I was calm and excited at the same time. It's difficult for me to describe also. Thank you for sharing with me. Thank you for missing me as much as I missed you. I'm so happy to be home with you. I'm so happy I get to be the person you share with."

Jane blushed at Maura's sweetness.

"You make me want to work on getting better at it. I want to be the best I can be for you. I just…I want to be your everything and I want to be really good at it. And…and even if I can't always express how I feel with words, I want you to know I still feel it."

Maura wrapped her arms around Jane and kissed her soundly.

"I know. I feel it too. "


End file.
